|This is not you|
Just a quickie, but I just thought I'd share an experience I had yesterday that has really helped me deal with the self-doubt and associated shit that this week has brought to the surface.
I have a very good friend with whom I go drinking and she has a good friend who has just taken his entry exams for the Royal College of Surgeons.
Apparently the night before his exams, he too was wracked with self-doubt, suggested it was all too much, how could a person remember all this, he should chuck it all in now etc. etc.
My friend, Hazel, opined that this was just how doctors (and by extension, med students) are, full of self-doubt, neurotic and constantly feeling overwhelmed by the volume of knowledge they are expected to have.
So, in one respect, yay! I'm not behaving in an abnormal way, my negative emotions are validated and guess what? It doesn't mean everything is doom and gloom, it's probably just a emotional survival strategy.
In another respect, boo! I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake and hey, guess what? My emotions really aren't anything special!
*sigh* I jest, I'm feeling a lot better and more capable. And maybe just a little bit apprehensive about the future ;)