30 Day challenge: Day 8

Day 8 11: Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up


I didn't get bored with the concept of a post a day, but the intervening topics didn't really interest me, so I skipped to this one. Being in the UK I use Spotify a whole lot, so I'm going to go with 10 randoms from my starred playlist. I'll link to them in Spotify and maybe YouTube or something

Skanking Song - [spunge] (or this link)

It reminds me of fun times when I was young enough to not be the weird old man down the front of gig. There was dancing and cider and stolen kisses from girls I never saw again, good times.

Take Me Anywhere - Tegan and Sara (or this link)

This is a song that totally reminds me of San Francisco, going over there to meet up with a girl I met online and actually ended up in a bit of a relationship with. It's a bit of goofy indie pop that makes me feel hopeful about life.

This Addiction - Alkaline Trio (or this link)

I'd just started nursing when I fell back in love with Alkaline Trio. Yes, I know it's emo power-pop and I'm too old and happy for that sort of nonsense, but it's great to run to and even better to thrash around to in the kitchen when you're cooking dinner.

Anaesthetist's Hymn - Amateur Transplants (or this link)

I love the Amateur Transplants. They are a pair of junior (probably not that junior anymore) doctors who have a knack for doing comedy covers of songs. And this is easily one of their finest examples. And it gets the role of the anaesthetist in the OR just right.

Autoclave - The Mountain Goats (or this link)

Possibly my favourite band right now. John Darnielle has a wry, self-deprecating sense of humour and a soulfulness that comes across in his music so clearly. This song is a warning to potential partners, but it's all said with a smirk.

What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie (or this link)

The other band I spend a great deal of time listening to because of the lyrics. This is just an incredible song which sums up the despair and loneliness of waiting for a loved one to die or get better in an ICU.

Samson - Regina Spektor (or this link)

I'm kind of embarrassed that I've only just found out about Regina Spektor. Her voice is beautiful. Oh, and have a look at the Laughing With video. That too, is pretty awesome.

Meddle - Little Boots (or this link)

This is another kitchen classic. It may even lead to throwing shapes and being generally a bit embarrassing.

Mr Brightside - The Killers (or this link)

Oh, this is a being dumped song that dovetails nicely into either the Alkaline Trio track or the Tegan and Sara, seeing as they all vaguely remind me of the same girl. That said, it's a cracking track in its own right and well worth a listen.

Sick 2 Def - Plan B (or this link)

This is the sound of an angry guy born on a London council estate. It's a dark, challenging song, not for the faint-hearted, but the lyrics are inspired and show an intelligence beneath the posturing and violent language.

Hope you enjoy some, if not all, of the above. Let me know what you liked or what you didn't :)

30 Day challenge: Day 7

Day 7: Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality


My zodiac sign is Libra and I think it fits me rather well.

Some of my more Libran qualities:

• A desire for balance
• Even-handedness
• A love of luxury but a dislike of ostentation
• A strong belief in my cause, whatever it is
• A preference for peace over conflict
• A love of public service
• A dislike of confusion, being rushed and sloppiness

I am, however, more than familiar with the notion of Cold Reading and how 5 million people cannot have the same day (if you take the population of the UK to be roughly 60 million people). It is (as Granny Weatherwax would say) Headology and a bit of fun so long as you don't take it too seriously. Certainly, not something to put too much faith in nor spend money on.

30 Day challenge: Day 6

Day 6: Write 30 interesting facts about yourself


No :P

Hang on, let me try for ten and see how I go:

1) I was first of goodness knows generations of my family to go to university
2) I'm the first of goodness knows generations of my family to go to medical school
3) I'm almost certainly the first of my family to marry an American.
4) I double-barrelled my surname with my wife's when we got married (it sounds awesome, fyi)
5) I was once described by my high school biology teacher as a "trouble maker" (he loved plants; I thought botany was boring)
6) I rarely sleep more than 5 hours a night (a hangover from shift work, I'm sure)
7) I was rated as "nice" by the female contingent of my course (the other option was "nasty", so y'know, score!)
8) I love using my MacBook and will earn enough this year to treat myself to a MacBook Air by Christmas (student discounts rule!)
9) I'm a dirty lefty. In several different ways.
10) I'm out of Jack Daniels, so I'm drinking Gin and Juice.

10 was a push. I get why the task is 30, 'cause the whole thing is a 30 day challenge etc etc... But I'm not that interesting and I figure I'd end up with a frankly desperate list if I got to 30. Which would please no one, least of all me.

Hope you're all enjoying the start of the weekend :)

30 Day challenge: Day 5

Day 5: A time you thought about ending your life


I don't think I ever have seriously thought about ending my life. I've been depressed, but never suicidal. Well, I guess that's not *entirely* true.

Before I did my nursing training, I had a crappy job that paid enough to fund my boozing and smoking and food, but not much more. It had no future and gave me no satisfaction from a day's labour. During the time I worked there, I think I became clinically depressed. I don't know for sure as I never went to see a doctor - I didn't like the idea of a mental health problem on my permanent record. I would miss days of work because I just didn't feel like getting out of bed. I would sit, in the dark, and think about how pointless my life was. Nothing gave me any genuine pleasure. My mother said she could hear it in my voice.

There were times when I would stand at the bus stop waiting to go to my shitty job and wonder "if I just step out in front of this bus, would it be any worse?"

The answer, of course, was yes. And I knew that. I think it was more self-indulgent emo-kid behaviour than genuine suicidal ideation, to be honest. And all the bad thoughts dissipated when I left where I was living and started nursing. In retrospect, I could make a compelling case for what I experienced being that kind of whiny misery that you have to white, middle-class and male to really *own*.

So maybe it wasn't depression at all. Maybe I was just being a self-indulgent asshole. That sounds plausible, though maybe a bit more pedestrian. Recall bias and not having had an objective assessment at the time makes it hard to tell, but I guess it was an experience from which I am still learning.

30 Day challenge: Day 4

Day 4: Your views on religion


I know this is a total cop-out, but there is no way I can come up with a comprehensive, well thought-out blog post on my views on religion at this time of night after I've just spent my evening breaking the back of Respiratory Distress Syndrome (suffice it to say, more complicated than I expected).

Can I take a pass on this and I'll come back to it? Maybe I'll do two posts on Saturday or Sunday? I'd like to cover this topic, so I'd like to do it justice.

Short and dirty is, I'm an atheist. But it's a bit more complicated than that. And my personal choices don't nearly encapsulate how I feel about the notion of religion in general or other people's lives or choices.

Like I said, more complex than my brain can handle right now. So I call a Mulligan and I'll get back to you.

30 Day challenge: Day 3

Day 3: Your views on drugs and alcohol

An Old Fashioned from ReeseCLloyd's Flickr stream

In an act of unintentional irony, I am blogging drunk.

Which I guess tells you a lot about my attitude to alcohol if nothing else. In my defence, I should point out that I'm not in school tomorrow or working or doing anything (other than maybe going for a run tomorrow morning) which require me to be up early. Not that I generally drink to excess. Generally.

I think drugs is a topic that can be very complicated. For an individual, I think it can represent any number of subtleties in their personality. All the dreadful aspects of the drug trade and all the ills it brings on the world aside, I think if you can't handle your high, you should probably leave any mind-altering substance well enough alone. I particularly think that becoming intoxicated and getting behind the wheel of an automobile is one of the most awful things a person can do.

I can't think of much to write on this topic without sounding judgmental in one way or another, so maybe I need to go away and think on this some more. Maybe that's the point of this exercise - to go and explore topics you thought you had pegged?

30 Day challenge: Day 2

from m22+'s flickr photostream

Day 2: Where would you like to be in 10 years time?


I was going to start this post with a fatuous statement about wanting to be a doctor in 10 years time and leave it at that, but then I realised this question is one that has a dozen different angles to it. So I will try and answer it from a few of them.

Career in 10 years time? Well, I would hope that I will be well into my Specialism Training (for the non-Brits in the audience our doctors spend 2-3 year post-qualification on the Foundation Year programme before entering specialist training or the "ST" years. This leads ultimately to the role of Consultant in a specialist field). I don't know now what speciality will take my fancy, but I want it to be one where I make a real difference to as many lives as possible. And one that satisfies my desire to learn and develop skills. And hopefully a speciality that pays enough that I can help support my family and give them as many opportunities as possible.

Location in 10 years time? I've talked with my wife about going back to America (she being an American) - It's something I think would be very exciting and would offer a lot of opportunity to me and would, I think, make her feel more comfortable than living in the UK does. We've also talked about the possibility of moving to Australia or New Zealand - both places I think would be interesting places to live and would have similarities to the UK, but enough differences, too. I'm not really desperate to stay in the UK.

Physically in 10 years? I want to be faster and stronger than I am now. There is a line in Hagakure that states (and I misquote, probably) "a man should gain strength until the age of 50". Now read into that what you will, but it sounds like a pretty good aim to me. I want to run a marathon before I'm forty and work to gain a black belt in a martial art. These seem like reasonable goals to me.

Mentally in 10 years? I want to be happy with all that I have achieved and all that I have planned out. I figure if pursue my goals with good spirit and punch just above my weight, these too should be reasonable goals.

Right, introspection over, my pasta is pretty much done.

Laters~

30 day challenge: Day 1

Estelle Darling over at Word Lust introduced me to this notion and I was looking for a fun way to increase my output here so I thought I'd give it a go.

Day 1: Your current relationship

Mr and Mrs AbsentBabinski

I have been married for the best part of a year now and it has been a lovely development in my relationship. We lived together for a couple of years before we got married and it felt the natural progression and to her credit my wife is one of the major reasons I can pursue my medical career. She has been the bread winner since we started dating and will continue to be so for the next 10 years I suspect. She is also long suffering and knows just the right thing(s) to say when I have my regular "Why did I leave nursing? This is crazy! I should be earning money for us!"

She is my confident, and my best friend. And the person I hope to spend as many years of my life with as I can.

We have totally different tastes in so much, but we make it work. In fact we have the dubious honour of annoying my wife's friends by not arguing about... Anything, really. I think that's why we work, we might have different tastes and views but we respect and love each other.

Someone once told me that when you apologise, you're not admitting you're wrong - you're stating you respect the relationship you have with the other person more than being "right" (whatever that means). And that's what guides me through the harder bits of being married.